What Is Love Bombing?

Love bombing is an emotional manipulation method that often points to the beginning of an unhealthy, toxic, or abusive relationship. Someone who uses this tactic usually does so to quickly gain the favor of a potential partner so they can more quickly and easily control them. Those who love bomb their potential partners often display narcissistic traits. Love bombing makes you feel great about yourself, your relationship, and your future with your partner. Your partner uses this stage — often at the beginning of the relationship — to knock down your defenses and find ways to exert control over the relationship, ultimately exerting control over you. If you're being love bombed, the signs might be more noticeable to others than they are to you. That's because, at this stage, you feel special, understood, and seen by your partner. Meanwhile friends and family may worry that your new love interest is moving too fast or acting obsessively. Love bombing examples might look like this: Your partner seems too good to be true. They may tell you they’ve been waiting for you their whole life, that you’re their soulmate, or that they’re in love with you a short time after meeting. Your partner seems to share all of your interests or agrees with all of your opinions. Your partner wants to stay in constant communication with you. A more hidden sign of love bombing is what comes next: devaluation. When your love-bombing partner settles into a relationship with you, they may become bored, irritated, and moody. They might insult you, belittle you, or even physically abuse you. If this happens, you might try to leave. At this point, your partner turns on the charm, beginning the love bombing phase again to win you back.Emotional abuse makes you humiliated, insulted, scared, and unsure of your perception of events. If your partner intends to make you feel this way, this is abuse. Take a look at the differences between showing love and using love bombing to gain control: Showing love. Some people are more open and expressive with their affection than others. The following signs might be over-the-top expressions of love, but they are not red flags because they are not meant to control the partner. Love bombing as abuse. The line between honest, overzealous expressions of love and love bombing is not always clear. The following are a few examples of love bombing meant to gain control over a partner. Demanding a partner’s time, affection, and loyalty before a solid relationship is established Declaring that you are their soulmate and refusing to let you spend time with other people — or acting jealous when you do Saying they know you better than you know yourself If you’re caught in a relationship that displays such cycles of abuse, you may find it extremely difficult to get out. Maybe you see your partner’s true colors after the love bombing stage is over, but just when you pack up to leave, they begin apologizing, flattering you, and gushing about how perfect you are for them again. In short, they’re beginning the cycle all over again. If you choose to forgive them and stay with them, you may be caught in the love bombing cycle. All relationships have their ups and downs, and many healthy couples even argue several times per day. However, emotional manipulation is significantly different. Healthy relationships are built on trust, respect, and love. Love bombing — and the cycle that usually follows it — is not love.